EXECUTIVE FUNCTION AND AUTISM
What IS executive functioning?
It is described as a set of cognitive processes that are necessary for the cognitive control of behaviour; (or) selecting and successfully monitoring behaviours that facilitate the attainment of chosen goals.
I think this is by far one of Chevy’s biggest obstacles, and I want to talk about it, because for years it was something I never understood, and now I do, in large part because Chevy is so good at articulating his needs now.
(That’s a whole other post, and an important one – something his diagnosis gave him the freedom to do, was to talk about his struggles without accusation and judgment – here’s what I mean by that ~ )
To put this in perspective, I’ll start by saying that ALL kids have some level of executive dysfunction. It’s part of growing, and learning, watching and repeating…
For this reason, REAL executive dysfunction that comes with Autism and ADHD is often overlooked.
Instead of the child hearing ” I can see you are struggling to start this task, how about we start with just one thing” – they instead hear ” WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?? I’VE TOLD YOU AT LEAST TWENTY TIMES TO CLEAN YOUR ROOM NOW!!!!!! GEEZ! YOU’RE SO LAZY”.
Chevy heard that a lot.
From me.
From stepdads.
From teachers.
From coaches…
Here’s the thing.
Chevy isn’t lazy.
He isn’t ‘playing me’
He isn’t manipulative.
He isn’t ‘not listening’
He isn’t ‘blatantly defiant’
He has autism.
He has a hard time starting projects, not because he can’t comprehend the task. Not because he’s lazy. Not because he can’t figure it out. Not because he’s not capable….
It’s because his brilliant autistic mind is ALWAYS firing on all cylinders, ALL THE TIME. His sensory system is in overload, processing details that the rest of us never notice… their minds are actually miraculous in what they take in at any given moment…
So when you tell an autistic mind to simply ‘go clean your room’, it’s just too elementary. Clean my room how? Which part? Where do I start? What part is the most important to get done first? Do you mean tidy or actually clean with cleaning products? Put things away or push them to one corner? Should I move furniture out of the room or vacuum around it? Where is the vacuum anyway? Does it need to be emptied? I can’t stand the feel of the filter. The sound of my nails on the mattress when I make the bed hurts my head. How much effort is needed here? Like, everything needs to be perfect? What is perfect to you?
You get my point… to an autistic mind that thinks outside every box imaginable, something so broad as ‘clean your room’ leaves a thousand questions unanswered, which leads to anxiety, which leads to exhaustion, which leads to shut down….
That’s usually the point where they are called lazy.
As they sit there, exhausted by their own thoughts….
Chevy is SO GOOD now at recognizing this in himself, and he will simply ask for help. For clarity. For time.
He will actually negotiate on a level that is beyond impressive. 
For example, he will say ” Mom, I know you’re mad about my room, but I’ve been struggling where to start. Can you help”?
Nothing makes me more proud that when Chevy says ‘Can you help with this’…because he loves to learn, just like the next person.
Breaking down projects into smaller tasks helps a great deal.
Chevy is extremely smart, in fact more so than many people I know.
And he is brilliantly creative – I just have to watch him compose music for five minutes to be blown away…
But you see, it is this contradiction in our beautiful, bright children that lends itself to others having less patience with them.
” Well, he’s obviously smart enough, he’s just being lazy’
No.
It’s not laziness.
And don’t get me wrong, Chevy has his lazy moments, just like the rest of us.
But executive dysfunction is real, and a completely different thing altogether…
So, if you have an autistic child that seems to be ‘not paying attention, not listening, not doing what they’re asked’, always assume it’s executive dysfunction, and try helping before getting frustrated.
So many times I left Chevy to struggle on his own, feeling like he let me down, while I steamed in a corner….
When all he needed was some patience, and a hand getting started.